atmos
2002-09-10

yesterday wasnt the best, got off my lazy arse and started to attack the ironing mountain. the only way I can get on with this task is to play good music and play it loud, anyway K and the girlies returned and J started to complain in a thousand ways that music was not what she needed but "sabrina the witch" was required.

I thought I had sort of compomised by ending saying I would just hear out the end of the CD (The EELs "electro shock blues") but I consistantly fail to allow for the fact the 10 year olds want stuff now.

So I lost my rag, threw the fucking clothes back on the mountain and was gonna go sit in the bedroom, coz basically I have had all I ever need to see of shitty american kids Tv, I swear if I ever meet keanan or Kel I will tear out their unfunny hearts.

Anyyway that then caused K to go yell at J and the whole house was filled with "shitty tense atmos" which was of my own making, K went and flopped on the bed (not wanting me there) so my options were Garage or sitting on the loo. none of which appealed so I went to the pub for a pint then got a carry out.

which I took home and drank about 6 cans of lager.

Today I have ironed (currently listening to "wish you were here" pink floyd) and am in a fairly grim mood. Its not a new thing its been with me forever.

In my 20's my solution was to go to my flat,phone in sick,shut the curtains, disconnect the phone and sit surrounded by beercans,a huge lump of morrocan black and get off my face for a few days until I ached for some human company, then I would go out again.

Now I dont know what to do.. Its really no big deal for me, its just a rainy day I know there will be sunny ones soon, but K hates it, she really hates it .she has asked me the "cheer up" before she gets home from work, but how ??? I dont get horrid when I'm like this, I just stop talking so much.

what the fuck do I do?? I must be a bit emotionally charged coz dave gilmours guitar solo just made me cry. it made hairs on my neck stand up and my eyes leak.

I'm the biggest mardy-arsed bloke I have ever met.

right then The ironing mountain is now a hill and I gorra go buy my sister a burthday card.