PUPPETTS MOOD is ...... horny! horny! horny! horny! horny! horny! horny! horny! horny!

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Bananas smell funny..

I'm going to be sent to the naughty corner at work because I have had 9 days off sick in the last 2 years, OOOOOOOO I'm so scared.... In fact I think the stress of it all is making me ill. I may need some time off.

I'm busy studying for my updated gasman exams and lookng for a van to buy. it all very exciting.The idea of working for myself is very appealing, I work for the uk post office at the moment and trying to get even the smallest task done requires moving 10 layers of burocracy (dammit that looks wrongo, please uncle Andrew can we have a spell checker for xmas, hang on while I load Word....) Bureaucracy ! and being able to do something coz I want to, smacks of freedom.

Apart from the fact that I'm gagging for it and have strong urge to go home and give K a good seeing to, I have no news, so its a brief history Of childhood in puppett land.

I was born in manchester in 1961 and we lived in a ground floor flat in a HUGE council estate, this was a ROUGH area, the standard garden furniture was a wrecked car on bricks which contained a mad barking dog, plus an old gearbox that had grass growing out of it. windows were a 50/50 mix of glass and cardboard and every house had a funny smell of boiled cabbage.

My mum worked sewing on a huge industrial machine that filled the house with a constant brrrruuup brrrrrup noise and got paid one shilling for each pair of trousers she made, and my dad worked at various times as a...

police cadet

railway porter



insurance man

street lighting engineer

bin man

and many other jobs, my dad came in from work at 5, had his tea (ready on the table) then after a half hour snooze went to the pub until they threw him out at closing time.

He did this every night of the week, on saturday my mum would go out with him and I have really happy memories of the pair of them staggering in at night with the smell of beer and fags on their breath. sometimes they brought bags of chips from the chippy and we would sit round the dying fire giggling and munching.

I never really fitted in with the other kids coz I liked to read and wasnt obsessed with soccer, so mostly I kept to myself. There was a old disabled man who lived next door called Mr Moore, he had fell off a push bike as a teenager and broke his back. so couldnt walk.

I spent a lot of time with him, he knew so much and should I have a question about the world or science, I would go ask him and he would explain whilst illustrating the idea with funny drawings. I thought he was the cleverest man in the world! in his shed he had an old pianola that would magically play rolls of music on its own! His wife scared me and to be honest I think she scared him too. she never spoke but always shouted at him.

and she had a pointy spiteful face.

At secondary school I had a few friends but owing to some trick of nature was the last person have anything to do with puberty, so as my chums went sniffing around the girls I was sat at home happily building model planes and making small but effective explosive devices from homemade gunpowder (I liked chemistry too).

so most of the time was spent keeping out of the way of big kids who liked to beat up small kids for fun.

Then at the tender age of 15 I started work as a gasman where we were looked after by older men who teased and took the mickey endlessly but acted more like big brothers than anything else, I think its a measure of what a "happy family" we were that most of my friends were met at that time and are still my friends 25 years on.

This was a huge relief, I was terrified as a child that I was having "the best years of my life" coz most of the time I was unhappy. I think I can safely say that my school years were some of the worse times of my life.

So for all you kids out there feeling like shite.... dont worry it all gets better!

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