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100 things about me

Well, la-the-sage thinks she might be the very last dland dude to do a 100 list, well she isnt and here is mine, its bloody hard too!

1,I'm five feet five inches tall

2,I can juggle 3 things

3,eating chocolate makes my tummy hurt

4,so does wine

5,I'm attracted to pretty faces

6,I think skinny women look unattractive

7,I hate the description of breasts as "boobs" coz they aint a mistake!

8,all my trousers have turnups on the bottom coz my waist to leg ratio is wrong

9,because I'm fat

10,at school I wore traditional lancashire clogs,this got me beaten up but it didnt stop me

11,I've been in love 4 times but only 3 of the women knew about it

12,I'm a rubbish driver and crash often because I dont look out the front ofen enough

13,I often choke on my own saliva

14,I bite my nails until it hurts

15,in my 20's taking amphetamines was the only way I had the nerve to approach strange women

16,In social situations I'm shy and quiet near strangers, not because I care what they think of me but because I dont want to upset them by offending them (I have foot in mouth syndrome)

17,When I lived alone my friends would always put me into the recovery position before leaving

18,my flat contained, a dentist chair,a cigarette vending machine,a wind up gramaphone,3 wrigleys gum vending machines and a cash register

19,I have blue eyes (see my profile)

20,I dont cheat in relationships

21,ORAl sex is... it just IS

22,I've owned 17 motorbikes and fell off them all

23,when angry I spurt out random filth like a touretter

24,If at home I always sit down for a piss

25,I have no idea why leatherondage would turn anybody on

26,my hair has only ever been its natural colour

27,god is imaginary

28,my pets have been dogs,cats,ferrets,newts,frogs,salamanders

29,I cant make nice cakes

30,I dont eat seafood

31,If I look at food and dont like how it looks,tasting it will make me retch

32,I had pneumonia 5 times as a child

33,I was vegitarian for 10 years without "cheating" once

34,I value personality over looks every time

35,I can fly a paraglider

36,If I get thirsty I become grumpy and a thing in my neck swells

37,I lurve breasts.... hmmmmm K has marvelous breasts

38,I have no middle name neither do my kids

39,I love kissing

40,I like being on my own a lot

41,I'm a virgo (but astrology is bollocks)

42,I have the same friends now as 20 years ago

43,I'm a fully fledged geek

44,I talk to stranger in pubs,trains, streets

45,I put salt and pepper on everything

46,I lived in a flat with no means of cooking for 18 months

47,I bought a red phone box and put it in my garden

48,I have sat ontop of every 3000 ft hill in england and wales

49,I can speak some welsh and scots gaelic

50,I throw everything away given time

51,I cant tile or hang wallpaper

52,I ogle at K when she is asleep

53,I can say "yabba dabba doo" when I burp

54,my foreskin is a fiveskin, its longer than my penis

55,I have an addictive personality

56,vivesection is ok by me if I get to live longer

57,Ironing is unnnessary, lets all agree to wear crumpled stuff

58,Building a network,yes. setting VCR no

59,I wish K would trust me but she never will

60,sometimes I feel really guilty when I'm not

61,I very very scared of pidgeons or any other bird.

62,if I try and look at dead things my vision averts itself

63,I have a big brown birthmark on my bum

64,i have only worked for 2 companies in 26 years

65,I set the oven on fire this morning

66,I'n not comfortable with the idea of people having to work in the porno industry, but watching it arouses me anyway

67,I like to play my guitar and sing to myself

68,I take reading matter to the toilet

69,I failed my driving test 3 times

70,I would rather walk than drive

71,I once tried to kill myself

72,when inanimate things annoy me I punch them

73,I once overdosed on speed and had to sit outside the hospital for 2 hours with a pulse rate of 280 beats per minute

74,my historical heroes are Michael Faraday and I.K. Brunel

75,I love the idea of space travel, lets go to mars!

76,all my socks are black

77, I dont like wearing boxer shorts

78,I never trust men wearing suits

79,I can roll my tongue

80,for many years I was 12.5 stone now i'm more like 14.5...

81,I had a vasectomy, shaving your nuts is like trying to shave a wet tea bag

82,I hate coffee

83,I only eat about 2 pieces of fruit per year

84,I'm left handed but play guitar right handed coz bry would only teach me that way

85,I swear too much

86,I drink too much

87,I like hats

88,cant walk past a hole in the road without looking down it

89,I cant listen to a problem without trying to offer a solution, I think the phrase it " a bloody know it all" sorry,,, I try reallly hard not to

90,I cant wait for the kids to grow up

91,I dont read instructions

92,I love to look at maps

93,I cant imagine life without music

94,after sex my legs go all wobbly if I stand up

95, Iwas arrested twice for underage drinking

96,I throw like a girl

97,The hardest thing I ever did was to leave my kids

98,I only need to think of 2 more things!

99,I'm lazy

100, I'm done!

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