getting better
2003-03-03

Hello diaryworld, its been a while�. I haven�t been updating because I wasn�t really up to it, over the last few weeks I have been somewhat off my trolley, out to lunch, away with the gremlins.

You may (or may not) have noticed that I�m a moody bastard at the best of times, and to be honest is not been the best of times� anyway I best start from the beginning.

So having had redundancy snatched from my grasp by my employer, I have been doing 2 jobs at once resulting in 85 hour weeks and me becoming a bit mentally unstable as a result, this cause probs with me and K, and the whole thing fed on itself until I was a jibbering emotional wreck. Which involved me wanting to hide somewhere and crying like a soppy girl.

Now bearing in mind the whole idea of this enterprise was to give me a better quality of life, I think we can all agree that I have infact made a pigs arse of the entire affair.

So last week I went to see the doctor man, jibbered at him for a while and he told me not to go to work for a bit and to take some happy pills.

The happy pills are in the cupboard untouched and I am slowly unwinding. The plan being I will see how I feel after a couple of weeks off work. Otherwise how will I know if it�s the rest or the pills making me feel better?

To be honest now that me and K are sorted I feel a lot better anyway. Which is good.

I will stay off work as long as I see fit, and If they sack me and I lose my redundancy payoff then big deal. I never had the money, therefore I never lost it. I would rather be happy than fucking loopy (tee hee, sounds like sex with a Disney character).

I�m currently listening to the smiths, If that doesn�t have me weeping into a pillow nothing will!

Going to make tea in the 1 pint blue and white stripey mug I bought yesterday at the giant second hand shitefest.