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2003-04-19

Looking tidy is not a thing I can manage, as I type this I am wearing green M&S undies plus a rugby shirt that was sent to me as a freebie from a boiler manufacturer. I am also wearing blobs of green paint on my left thigh and my two biggest toes of my left foot.

K is asleep on the settee, I am drinking fosters lager.

I am happy but feel the dread of returning to my day job, the fear is slowly building up in my head like a spiders web, to begin with it was a gossamer, just the slightest of tendrils weaving their way into my consciousness but now as the time is approaching the web is more solid and threatening. I don�t wanna go!

I got a �TXT� message on my phone from the island, or house now has windows and doors, and to be frank I want to go and see NOW! But there are things that mean we have to stay here, where we are in the north of England. We can go see in a month or so.

Youth has only two advantages, lack of commitments and absolute belief in your own immortality. I remember soloing hard rock climbs with no fear of death. But now as I age I feel the need to do stuff NOW in case I die.

Sometimes it would be good to float with moods and not be tied down with responsibilities.

Right I�m off to see If I can find animameas hand written entry that I missed in my no computer days.